We Watched Heathers as Adults the Other Day and I Thought it Sucked
I’ve realized that 80s movies just don’t age well. A short review of a few.
The 80s were so innocent compared to now in 2020. My only electronic gadget fun was my Speak & Spell back then. There were no cell phones, our phones were actually installed in the house and we had something called a home phone number, those phones usually had a long curly cord so you could try to get some privacy from your parents. There was no internet porn and the only “sexting” we had was taking a picture with a Polaroid Camera and giving it to someone. At one point our choices were VHS or BETA those smaller tapes that didn’t catch on. There was NO Netflix so for movie entertainment we went to a place called a video store that rented old movies on VHS, then later on DVDs.
THERE. WAS. NO. INSTANT. GRATIFICATION. Try to imagine that right now.
Blows your mind, doesn’t it? The thought of having to wait for something makes you a little anxious these days.
Growing up in the 80s as a young kid molded me. The movies that I watched back then have been on my mind along with the music that I listened to. My children are cool and listen to that K-Pop stuff. The other day I tried to play them some New Kids on the Block and they were NOT impressed. I hate to say this but I agree with them, NKOTB did suck. I enjoy their K-Pop music because it’s fun and catchy and I find myself dancing. I may even have a K-Pop CD in my car CD player although I will deny when asked.
I got off-topic. I think the music of the 80s will be another post.
Back to 80s movies that impacted my life and how they are holding up in 2020. Over the past few months, I’ve been able to watch the classics. Dirty Dancing. Heathers. Say Anything. Pretty Woman. When those movies came out I was in middle school, going through puberty, and had BRACES. The 80s! You know, that awkward stage us girls had to endure. It wasn’t pretty. Unless you were the pretty one or a cheerleader, which I wasn’t, I imagine your life was a little bit easier. No, don’t awwww about that. I know I’ve only gotten better looking with age. I also found that having confidence and actually liking the person that I am helps a lot too. These days I’m a total MILF and I’m okay with that. I think it amuses my partner at the attention I get because He knows I’m not going anywhere and He’ll be the one taking me home which happens to be His home since We cohabitate together.
So.
The 80s broke my heart for the first time at the tender age of 13 then quickly put it back together again watching Johnny and Baby do the lift at the end. Dirty Dancing came along at a very impressionable age for me, I was just a teenager. I was at a place of starting to like boys and have boys like me. I still find myself saying “Nobody puts Baby in the corner” and “I carried a watermelon” during conversations after all this time.
Dirty Dancing holds up in 2020 because we all long to have that summer vacation when life was so innocent. If you wanted to speak to someone you called them up instead of texting. There were no electronic leashes in our hands. Cameras had film. Books had pages you flipped. While watching DD I cheered when Johnny took up for Baby, when they did the last dance at Kellerman’s, and the end when Dr. Houseman apologized to Johnny. I always wondered what a second movie would look like. Would Johnny and Frances really make it in the real world? The romantic in me hopes they stayed together but the cynic in me doubts they lasted the rest of the summer.
So if there was a DD 2.0 then I’d like to see another point of view.
All Grown Up. The Frances Houseman Story. Don’t call her Baby anymore. (By Sidney T. Brooks)
It could work, maybe.
Then out comes Heathers with the three Heathers and Veronica which instantly turned into a favorite of mine. We all wanted to meet our own Jason Dean (minus the crazy), played by 80s heartthrob Christian Slater. Maybe all the hairspray I used to tease my bangs with messed with my beloved Heathers memory.
In school, I had a best girlfriend who lived close and she was a blonde bombshell Heather and I, of course, was quirky Veronica Sawyer. Winona Ryder could have been going through my closet to wear my clothes for the movie. On the weekends we’d get all dolled up and watch Heathers as we played our parts as Heather and Veronica. Kind of cheesy now that I think about it.
I am not sure how many times we watched the movie that year but I’d say maybe 100 times.
I’m older now, 46 this summer, I happened to get Heathers on the brain so I talked my partner into watching Heathers one Friday night.
I’m all giggly telling Him, I used to dress just like Veronica as the movie started. Then I mentioned how Heather in the red is beautiful and I wondered what she was up to these days? I made a mental note to Google her later. Then I realize the chick from 90210 is a Heather too. It’s not like I remember at ALL, all of sudden, this movie.
Lunchtime poll comes around and next thing you know the new hot boy Jason Dean pulls a gun and fires it at those two football jerks. When the killing spree started I began to realize that this movie that was once one of my favorites wasn’t at all what I remembered and it did not age well after all this time. I couldn’t imagine a movie like this now because this is now something we hear about on the news all too often.
I don’t care for the movie now. I don’t see this being recreated into 2.0 because it hits too close to the news these days.
I thought it sucked this time, watching as an adult.
Thankfully after “all of the above” we meet Lloyd Dobler who instantly becomes what we want in a boyfriend. I was 15 by this time and had already shared a few kisses and had a few make-out sessions. Deep deep down we wished our boyfriends would be like Lloyd holding the boombox blaring In Your Eyes outside our bedroom window. We wanted that kind of guy. Or I did at least. I wanted John Cusack to be honest. I mean, come on! John Cusack blaring The Clash would have worked rather nicely too.
Say Anything showed me what I wanted in a boyfriend. I wanted that kind of boy who truly and wholeheartedly loved me like Lloyd loved Diane. I cried with Lloyd in that phone booth during the rain when he said: “I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen”. Say Anything was just a beautiful love story. Sometimes I wonder if someone will try to redo Say Anything with a modern twist. I kind of hope they do then I don’t want them to “mess it up” with a crap version. Know what I mean? They could cast the wrong guy to play Lloyd or give him a British accent (no offense), trying to find a John Cusack 2.0 would be very hard to do these days in my personal opinion.
Sort of hoping “I Have More to Say” makes it to the box office. Har har.
While Say Anything warmed our hearts, a movie came out that aspired all the little girls to be prostitutes so they’d meet their Prince Charming. Yes, ladies, you heard me. There for a while you know we all wanted to be Julia Roberts with Richard Gere! Well, to be Vivian Ward we would have to be a prostitute. Not that being a prostitute is exactly a bad thing. Don’t let me get started about Pretty Woman or I’ll start bitching about the lame line at the end of the movie. “She rescues him right back” is so LAME! SEE! Back then I could have created a hashtag #LAMELASTLINE for when I talk about Pretty Woman. #BLOWLIKEVIV would have been fun!
So, I’m done. I have recapped four movies that impacted my growth in the 80s. These movies made me want to dance like Baby. They taught me to never pass up on a Lloyd. They taught me to never trust a Heather. They taught me that I could sell my body if things got rough.
What childhood favorite do you still love as an adult?
P.S. The Heather in red was played by Kim Walker who sadly died of a brain tumor in 2001 at age 32.
