BDSM — I don’t always want to orgasm.

Believe me, I’m not intentionally saving them up.

Living in a 24/7 D/s dynamic is a bit different than a vanilla relationship and it’s a bit difficult to put into words without sounding weird or that I’m under some strange mind control spell. I am my own woman and the decisions I make are my own.

For Us, sex becomes a fun game in moments. It becomes a battle of will. How long can I hold out? How long can I wait to come? HOW LONG before I cave and orgasm?

For example:

My partner had been away for a few days, and I had missed Him so much. There was a need to be intimate.

I wanted Him to f*ck me.

I needed Him to f*ck me more.

So my teasing and taunting Him at work with pictures of me got me in trouble.

I, sort of, felt it coming. I know He is a very patient man.

The jumping in the bed and making out with me when He got home from work. He asked for my plug. He put me on my knees with my face pressed into our bed quickly jumping up saying, “let’s go eat.” mid-kiss. Oh f*ck me, I screamed in my head as I really scream, “I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO DO THAT!”.

I’ve never gotten dressed so fast! We were out the door in minutes. My line of thinking was the quicker we get there the quicker we get home.

He takes me to get those tacos I’d been craving all day. Plugged, drinking a margarita eating tacos sitting beside my boyfriend.

Upon returning home He carries the bench from our couch and places it on our bedroom floor and told me to kneel.

I don’t kneel for Sir every day or maybe not even every week. Being told to kneel is something not in our daily routine.

I kneeled on the bench for my Sir because He told me to.

He brought out the rope and placed me just right, tied me tight and I was beginning to fly. I feel the ball gag being placed in my mouth, which just makes me begin to drool.

I know the rules. To make the pain stop I must orgasm but here’s the thing.

I don’t always want to come. I want to suffer. I want to hurt. I may even want to cry.

Then He brings out the Hitachi and places it under me on the bench.

I’m screaming and I’m bound. I can’t move from His rope, but I can rock my pelvis. I try to move away from the wand and then I want to move against it and come.

This time I kept trying to move away.

He arranges me another way with His cock in my mouth as He rams the Hitachi on my clit.

I’m screaming.

I’m holding back. He enjoys making me scream out. I enjoy screaming out.

I held out for what seemed like a very long time.

Finally, unable to take anymore, my screams turned into an orgasm.

He moves me gently down to the floor.

My mouth worships His cock, still bound in His rope. He comes for me.

Us, collapsed in our bedroom floor, sweaty, rope all around, smiles, laughter, and most importantly, love. We have love.

But the f*cking is sure fun too :)

So, you see, I don’t always want to come, the strength it takes to stop is half the fun or torture or both or it’s the same.

I don’t recall my vanilla sex being this way.

**This is based on a BDSM D/s dynamic with consenting adults. BDSM can be a beautiful bond for consenting adults. Practice SSC — safe, sane and consensual BDSM.**